


Old Friends

by thatwriterlady



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Balthazar flirts with Castiel, Bookworm Castiel, Castiel has repressed feelings for Dean, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester Flirting, Coming Out, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Fluff, Gay Dean, Jock Dean, M/M, Neighbors, Pansexual Castiel, Pining, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 04:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5570344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatwriterlady/pseuds/thatwriterlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas have lived next door to one another for as long as they can remember.  They used to be best friends but things changed.  </p><p>For one, Cas realized he liked boys.</p><p>For two, Dean fell in with the popular crowd while Cas faded into the background.</p><p>When Cas develops a crush on one of Dean's teammates he decides the best person to ask for fashion advice is Dean himself.  That is, until long suppressed feelings begin to emerge.  Was it possible that Dean could have felt the same way he did all those years ago?  And how does that make Cas feel now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Here is another one that I finished months ago and then forgot that I wrote it, lol. So here I am, sharing it. My lovely Beta, Monijune read it and gave her thumbs up for putting it on here. I wasn't sure how this one would go over, but she liked it, so I am putting it out for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!

All Cas could do was watch the popular kids as they streamed past him like they did every single day. In an ocean of beautiful people he was a nobody, not worth getting to know. This knowledge did not dishearten him though. No, instead he used it to his advantage. He could stand at his locker and observe people without them ever knowing it. 

For instance, he knew Fran Rothberg’s parents had filed bankruptcy and she’d had to take on an after school job in order to help support her family. Scott Nelson had a nasty bout of gonorrhea that he was on medication for. Lacy Elliott was pregnant, three months along, but only her best friend Debbie Redmon knew. What Debbie did not know was that it was her own boyfriend that had gotten Lacy pregnant. Dean Winchester, captain of the football team, was only on the team to please a father that had walked out on his family several years earlier. He hated it. All these secrets and many more he carried around with him every day. No one said hello to him except those few that he was actually friends with, and sometimes even they forgot. Cas was forgettable, just another small fish in a massive sea full of self-absorbed teenagers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking into his Chemistry class that afternoon Cas moved silently, no one even bothering to look in his general direction as he made his way to his table. His lab partner had transferred out earlier in the year so all the experiments that needed to be done, he completed on his own. He didn’t mind really; science came naturally to him, and he liked being able to concentrate on his work without the pressure to make small talk. Until that day, that was.

Rhonda Hurley had transferred out, her father moving the family across the country, which meant that now Dean Winchester did not have a science partner either. That would not do for their teacher, Ms. Mills. No, everyone needed a partner and it had bothered her for the better part of the year that Cas had been without one. She knew he wasn’t suffering without one, but Dean Winchester most certainly would. Rhonda was the one that logged their work while Dean was more hands on, actually getting his hands dirty and completing the experiments. Without Rhonda he was destined to founder and possibly fail her class. She couldn’t allow that to happen, so she did the only thing that made sense: She assigned Cas and Dean to be partners.

Ms. Mills stood at the front of the room, looking out across her class. All eyes were on her, and she could see the misery in poor Dean’s eyes. He had struggled to complete the last two experiments, and he was nervous that she was assigning another one. Instead she raised a hand to silence those that were still talking softly. Once the room fell silent, she spoke.

“Dean, I would like you to move over here to Castiel’s table. Everyone needs to have a partner and since Rhonda has left, Castiel will be yours for the remainder of the year.”

She didn’t miss the way Cas’ already large blue eyes widened even farther. A few kids were asking who Castiel even was, until they looked around and saw the nerdy dark haired guy in the corner by the window sitting alone.

“Uh, ok.” Dean almost looked…relieved. He gathered his books and his letterman jacket up, carrying them to the front of the room and then down the aisle to Cas’ desk. He didn’t need to wonder who Cas was, he knew perfectly well who he was. Cas and Dean were next door neighbors, and when they’d been kids they’d been best friends. They still talked occasionally, though it could no longer be called a friendship exactly. Dean wasn’t sure exactly when they had stopped being friends. One day they were friends, and the next day they weren’t. He dropped into the empty seat next to Cas and flashed him his most charming smile.

“Hey Cas, how have ya been?” 

Cas smiled politely. “I’ve been well. And you?”

Dean chuckled and shrugged. “I’m good.”

“How are you doing in this class?” Cas asked, genuinely curious. He didn’t want to have to carry Dean the rest of the semester.

“Well, I was doing ok. Rhonda and I had a system and it was working well for us. She recorded the data and I did the actual experiments. I repeated the results to her as I got them and she just wrote them down in something coherent that Ms. Mills accepted. We were pulling a steady B,” Dean replied.

Cas sighed internally. He was going to have to carry Dean the rest of the semester if he wanted to maintain his A average.

“Uh…huh…” Cas frowned down at his notebook. He was an excellent note taker. Dean had come over with only his science book, not a single notebook in sight. Seeing his reaction, Dean frowned too.

“Look dude, I understand the science, I execute the experiments with zero room for error, I just don’t do well with the written part,” he tried to explain.

Cas sighed again, this time so Dean could hear him. He looked up, finding those intense green eyes staring at him with something akin to hope in his eyes.

“Ok, we’ll figure something out,” he finally conceded. Dean relaxed, a huge grin on his face.

“Awesome man. I swear, you won’t be sorry.”

Cas stared at Dean as he opened his science book and flipped to their current chapter. At least he knew where they were in the course work. That was definitely a plus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cas didn’t speak to Dean for the rest of class, and when it was over he watched the football captain meet up with several other members of the team as well as a few girls he knew to be cheerleaders as they walked out of the room. Cas gathered up his own books and stepped out into the hall. Suddenly there was an arm linked with his own and he looked down to see his friend Anna at his side. He smiled warmly at the petite redhead.

“Heading to lunch?” she asked.

“My locker first, I really don’t want to haul all of this to the cafeteria,” he replied. She nodded and kept their arms linked together as they made their way to his locker. 

Cas wasn’t exactly sure how he ended up becoming friends with Anna. She was popular and beautiful, and all the boys coveted her, almost right from kindergarten, but Anna had started talking to him one day in first grade, and somehow they had hit it off. Anna looked like an angel in motion as she moved about, always smiling. What she saw in him, he had no idea, but he was thankful to have her as a friend at all. A hard clap on his back sent him stumbling into his open locker, and he was barely able to catch himself before he fell. He turned, a scowl on his face, to see his friend Gabe grinning up at him.

“Hey Cassio! What’s up man? Hurry up or we’ll be late for lunch!” 

“I would appreciate it if you would not try to knock me over every time you see me,” Cas growled as he slammed his locker shut. Gabe ignored his tone and reached up, slinging an arm around Cas’ neck. It was awkward, and Cas actually had to slouch in order for his friend to do it since he had several inches up on him. 

“I make you no promises,” the shorter boy said solemnly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the cafeteria they got in line and waited to get their food. Cas was only vaguely aware of the conversation Anna and Gabe were having, nodding and smiling whenever they said his name and he heard a question involved. They made their way to their usual table and sat down.

“So Cas, who are you taking to homecoming?” Anna asked. The question caught him off guard. He hadn’t planned to go at all.

“No one, I’m not going.” 

Anna looked absolutely shocked by his answer.

“No! You need to go! This is your senior year and you haven’t gone to a single dance since we started high school. We’ll just have to find you a date.”

Cas looked to Gabe for help but the traitor was nodding along with Anna. “Yeah! There are so many…”

He turned to look at Cas. “You know, I don’t think you’ve ever gone on a single date either. Do you like guys, or gals, Cas? Which floats your boat more?”

Cas choked on the piece of pizza he was trying to swallow as Gabe asked the question.

“Excuse me?!”

Anna giggled and nudged Gabe with her elbow. “Leave him alone!”

“What’s the fun in that?” Gabe asked. He looked around the crowded cafeteria, eyes finding the cheerleaders table easily.

“So, does perky and blonde with the ability to do the splits do it for you?” he asked.

Cas rolled his eyes and groaned. “No.”

Anna was sizing up the girls sitting at a table nearby. “What about the nerdy girls? There’s that girl Charlie…”

“Charlie is a lesbian,” Cas said quickly.

“Oh.” Anna frowned. She shrugged and smiled again as she continued looking around. Cas’ eyes were drawn to the guys currently walking in the cafeteria. Six of them in all, and all wearing lettermen jackets. The one in the center with the biggest smile was Dean Winchester, but Cas’ attention was drawn to the boy next to him, the transfer student from last year, Balthazar Reed. He was the last person Cas would have expected to join the football team, especially since he spoke with the most beautiful English accent Cas had ever heard, but join the team he did, and he had turned out to be brilliant at the game. Cas had gone to several games last year just to watch him run around on the field in his tight uniform. 

Balthazar had blonde hair that he spiked a little in the front and bright blue eyes. He was a flirt, Cas knew this from watching him in the halls, but the most important fact that he knew was that the handsome Brit liked guys just as much as he liked girls. The very thought made Cas tingle with excitement. As the group of guys passed their table, Dean nodded in his direction and flashed a smile in Anna’s direction. She ignored it as usual. Dean was not her type. Unbeknownst to anyone in the school, Anna was a lesbian, and she preferred to keep that little fact quiet until she had left for college. Cas nodded back absently at Dean, his eyes still locked on Balthazar. Unfortunately Gabe happened to notice him staring.

“Oh, ho, ho! So we have a winner! Was it the enigmatic Dean Winchester that caught your eye or his lovely English teammate Balthazar Reed?” Gabe asked, waggling his eyebrow. Cas glared at him but he could feel his cheeks burning.

Gabe’s expression softened. “Dude, I’m not going to tell him. But…if you could ask one of them, which one would you ask?”

Castiel sighed deeply and looked at his friend, the sadness in his eyes nearly breaking Gabe’s heart.

“Balthazar,” Cas admitted quietly. Gabe just nodded and looked over at the table full of jocks.

“I can sort of see the appeal. It’s the accent and those blue eyes, isn’t it?”

Cas blushed harder and nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. I don’t even really know what I like about him besides that. He’s never said two words to me.”

“Well, we’ll just have to fix that now, won’t we?” Anna said cheerfully. She was always so damn happy.

Cas tore his eyes away from staring at Balthazar for the millionth time since school had started this year and looked at his much too perky friend.

“And how exactly do you propose we do that?”

“A makeover of course!” She clapped her hands, delighted with her own idea. Gabe was nodding and smiling. Of course he was, he went along with anything Anna suggested.

“That’s a great idea!”

Cas looked down at his clothes. He was wearing what he wore most days, a button down shirt, this one white with red checks, a blue sweater vest, and black dress pants. Today he had chosen his black oxfords and he scuffed his shoe along the floor, uncomfortable with their scrutiny. “What’s wrong with how I dress?”

“Sweetie, you’re dressed like a nerd,” Anna informed him. He looked at her, his blue eyes narrowing.

“And what, pray tell, is wrong with that?”

“Nothing at all, unless you don’t really want the guy of your dreams,” Gabe said. He leaned closer and lowered his voice so the people around them wouldn’t hear their conversation.

“Look, the guys that Balthazar goes after, they’re…not…nerdy. They’re dressed sort of like…” He lifted his head, scanning the room. His eyes locked on Dean. “Like Dean. Masculine, athletic, built. He’s always wearing tight, torn jeans and band tees. Balthazar likes that sort of thing.”

Cas took another look at his own clothes. Gabe was right, he needed some kind of makeover, but he was going to be damned if he let Gabe and Anna be in control of what he wore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The walk home from school wasn’t long, but it gave Cas a lot of time to think. He was just walking up his drive when he heard his name being called.

“Cas! Hey, Cas!”

He looked up, seeking out the person calling him and saw Dean waving over the fence that acted as a barrier between their yards. When he saw Cas had noticed him Dean motioned for him to come over. 

“Yes, Dean?” Cas asked, approaching the fence.

“How are ya?” Dean asked, a huge smile on his face.

“I’m good, thank you for asking, but I don’t think you called me over her to ask me how I’m doing.” Cas raised an eyebrow, waiting for Dean to talk. To his amusement the other boy actually blushed.

“Ah, right. I wanted to know if you had time to go over the Chemistry homework we got today. I’m having a problem with a couple of the formulas.”

Cas couldn’t help but smirk. “In other words you didn’t write them down when Ms. Mills assigned them, and you’re hoping I have them.”

Dean lowered his eyes to the ground. “Um, yeah, but I don’t want the answers, I just need the problems themselves.”

Cas took a moment to really look at Dean. He was dressed in a black Led Zeppelin shirt, faded skinny jeans with what appeared to be strategically placed tears, and black work boots. This was what Balthazar was attracted to? This style of dress? An idea formulated in his mind suddenly.

“I propose we come to an agreement. I will help you to pass Chemistry if you’ll do me a favor as well.”

Dean looked up, his eyes shining with curiosity. “What kind of deal?”

“Help me to make over my image,” Cas said.

Dean’s brow furrowed and he frowned. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I need a new image. This…” Cas tugged at the edge of his sweater vest. “Isn’t cutting it anymore,” he finished. 

“Oh…ok. Sure, I can help with that. Did you have something in mind?” Dean asked. He seemed on board with the idea as long as he wasn’t going to fail Chemistry.

“Well…” Cas shifted his weight nervously. “Maybe….more like how you dress?” 

“Me?” Dean asked, surprised.

Cas let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, Dean. Like you.”

Dean’s confused expression shifted into something more akin to amusement.

“Sure. When did you want to do this?”

“Well, if now works for you, it works for me as well, especially since you need the problems in my notebook.” Cas wave the notebook in Dean’s face for a moment before shoving it back under his science book.

“Sure, I don’t have anything other than homework to do. Let me just tell my mom I’m coming over. I’ll meet you at your house in a couple minutes,” Dean jogged across his lawn and up his front stairs while Cas turned and walked to his back door. He let himself in and headed to the kitchen where his mom was sitting at the kitchen table doing paperwork. She taught at the elementary school, third grade, and she was working on grading math papers when he walked in.

“Hi, honey,” she greeted him.

“Hi, Mom.” He set his books down and opened the fridge. “I hope it’s alright, I invited Dean over, we have homework to do. He was made my Chemistry partner today.” He fished around until he found the sliced cheese and pulled two slices out. 

“Of course. It’s been a long time since you’ve had Dean over,” she remarked.

“We’re not exactly…friends anymore.” He shrugged as he broke off pieces of the cheese and stuffed them in his mouth.

“That’s a shame; he’s a nice boy.” She actually sounded sad. A knock at the back door told him Dean had arrived.

“Come in, Dean!” Cas called out. Heavy footsteps could be heard coming down the hall and a minute later Dean appeared.

“Oh, hey, Mrs. Novak.” He greeted Cas’ mom.

“Hello Dean, it’s been a long time, how have you been?” she asked.

“Good. I’m on the football team, made captain this year.” There was pride in his voice, but Cas knew better.

“Well good for you! Castiel attends your games regularly, but he never tells me how your team is doing. Are you doing well?” she asked.

“Oh, we haven’t had our first game this year, but we won state last year,” Dean replied.

“That’s wonderful! I hope you can do that again this year.” She smiled warmly at Dean. 

Cas shoved the last of his second cheese slice in his mouth and motioned for Dean to follow him.

“We’ll be in my room,” Cas told his mom, not waiting for his mother to respond.

Dean hadn’t been inside the Novak house in roughly five years, but he still remembered where Cas’ room was and he reached it before Cas did. He pushed the door open and walked in, plopping down on Cas’ bed.

“So…what are we doing first? Revamping your wardrobe or working on my homework?” he asked. Cas set his books down on his desk, giving Dean a pointed look before heading to his closet.

“Right.” Dean got up and followed Cas to the closet. He pushed the shorter boy aside and began searching through his clothes.

“Dude, who owns this many checkered dress shirts?” Dean exclaimed as he searched for anything more casual. At the back of the closet he found several pairs of jeans. He pulled them all out.

“When is the last time you wore these?” he asked, examining each pair.

Cas shrugged. “I usually only wear them when I’m going to visit my dad.”

“And how often is that?” Dean asked. He knew he hadn’t seen Uriel Novak in a very long time.

“I haven’t seen him in over a year,” Cas admitted, casting his eyes downward. Dean laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, buddy, it’s ok. My dad…he’s not around much either. I know how much it hurts.”

Cas attempted a smile but failed. Dean tried to redirect his attention back to the mission at hand. He thrust the three pairs of jeans into Cas’ hands and pushed him towards the door.

“Go try those on and see if they still fit.”

Cas took the pants and went across the hall to the bathroom. It took only a few minutes to try on all three pairs and determine that none of them fit. With a groan he put his dress pants back on and returned to the bedroom. Dean was laying back on the bed doing air guitar as he hummed some song Cas hadn’t heard in ages but still recognized.

“Traveling Riverside Blues?” Cas asked as his lips curved into a smile. Dean sat up, a delighted expression on his face.

“Dude, you remember?”

Cas’ smile turned into a full blown grin as he crossed the room to where his iPod sat in its base. After a couple minutes of searching the first few chords began to fill the room. 

“Cas, you sly dog! See? You’re already halfway there! You have great taste in music!” Dean jumped up and went to the iPod to search through Cas’ song list.

“Cas, this playlist, it’s fantastic!”

Cas preened at the compliment. For several years Dean had been the closest thing Cas had had to a best friend, and he’d had a very large influence on Cas’ life, especially on his musical tastes. Some things had remained even after they had grown apart. Dean looked through the rest of the songs, commenting excitedly on ones he really liked and making scoffing noises at ones he didn’t. When he finished he put the iPod back and turned to look at Cas.

“So?” He motioned towards the pants Cas had tossed on the bed.

It would appear that I’ve grown about four inches and put on some weight,” Cas replied.

“Well…what about shirts? Do you own anything that isn’t a dress shirt?” Dean asked.

“Of course.” Cas moved over to his dresser and pulled a drawer open. Dean came to stand next to him. Inside were tee shirts, all folded neatly. One in particular caught Dean’s attention and he smiled as he pulled it out. 

“Dude, you like Doctor Who?” 

Cas nodded, a huge smile on his face. “Wait, keep looking at it!” He hurried to the wall switch. “Ready?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, but why?”

Cas hit the light switch, plunging the room into darkness. 

“Gah!” Dean cried. Cas burst out laughing and turned the light back on.

“Dude! You could have told me it was a damn Weeping Angel that was going to pop up!” Dean gasped. Cas was too busy laughing hysterically.

“I love freaking people out with that shirt!”

“Then why don’t you ever wear it to school?” Dean asked as he folded the shirt and put it on top of the dresser. He looked through the rest of the shirts in the drawer.

“Cas, you’re…a geek, aren’t you?” All the shirts in the drawer were related to Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or Doctor Who. Dean found it amusing, but he was also impressed.

Cas just shrugged, a pink tint rising up on his cheeks.

“We should totally watch Star Wars together some night,” Dean said, smiling.

“Yeah, that would be cool.” Cas replied, suddenly feeling shy.

“So, at least you have some shirts…” Dean started to say but Cas cut him off.

“No. I don’t want to be seen as a geek. I want to be cool, like you, like Anna, like Gabe. Doctor Who shirts won’t make me cool.”

Dean set aside the shirt in his hands and folded his arms across his chest.

“Why do you suddenly feel the need to change Cas? You’re pretty damn cool the way you are right now.”

Cas tugged nervously at the hem of his sweater vest and stared at the floor.

“I’m…interested in someone, and…this…doesn’t work.” Again he motioned towards his outfit. Dean’s expression softened.

“Oh, I get it. But really, you don’t need to change for some girl. If she doesn’t like you the way you are, then she’s really not worth your time.”

Cas began to fidget even more, refusing to look Dean in the eye. The conversation had suddenly become very uncomfortable. Slowly it began to dawn on Dean why Cas was so nervous.

“Oh.”

Cas dared to look up at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“No, I get it. Do I happen to know him?” Dean asked. The sheer terror in Cas’ eyes scared him to see.

“Dude! I’m not telling him, whoever he is! That’s for you to do, I’m just here as your fashion advisor, though I still think I’m a poor choice. You sure you don’t want to ask Anna?” Dean scratched nervously at the back of his neck.

“Absolutely not. If I left it up to Anna I’d be wearing a damn suit to school.” Cas made a motion like he was going to run his fingers through his hair but he stopped. His hair was perfectly styled, and he didn’t want to mess it up.

“No, dude, do that. Your hair is too, bleh.” Dean stepped right into Cas’ personal space, pushing his hands into the shorter boy’s hair, causing it to stick up.

“Yeah, that’s hot. Whoever he is, that’ll get his attention. Now we just have to work on the clothes. Do you have money?” Dean asked.

“Yes, I save my allowance, plus I have a part-time job down at the library restocking books on Saturday mornings. Why do you ask?”

“Grab your money and lose the sweater vest. We’re going to the mall,” Dean announced.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They took Dean’s car, a ’67 Chevy Impala his father had gifted to him on his sixteenth birthday. Cas remembered the car from his childhood, but he hadn’t been inside it since he was about ten. It still smelled the same, like leather and motor oil. It smelled like Dean. It brought a small smile to his lips.

The drive to the mall was quick as Dean knew many back streets to get there and fifteen minutes later they were pulling into the lot by the Sears. Dean got out, starting for the mall entrance adjacent to the doors to Sears and Cas followed.

“Where are we going?” Cas asked, hurrying to match the taller boy’s long strides.

“There’s a really cool second hand store in here, it’s where I get all of my band tees. They’ll have stuff you can afford,” Dean explained. 

As the store came into view, he pointed to it. Cas had to admit as they walked in, the store looked pretty cool. Dean stopped in front of a rack full of black tee shirts and Cas followed him over. 

“Look, Metallica!” Dean exclaimed. His excitement faded slightly when he realized it was a size too small for himself. He held it out to Cas.

“You like them, right?” 

Cas nodded and accepted the shirt. To his surprise it was only three dollars. At this rate he could buy a bunch of shirts. They were still searching the racks and Cas had his back to Dean as he searched through some gray shirts on an adjacent rack when he heard Dean talking to someone. He sounded agitated. 

“No, I said leave me alone already!” 

Cas turned around to see Lisa Braeden, head cheerleader and Dean’s on again off again girlfriend, grabbing at his arm.

“Dean, please baby, I miss you.” She stuck her lower lip out in a pout but he didn’t seem fazed by it. Dean’s expression was hard as he peeled her finger off his arm and shoved her away.

“Get lost, Lisa!” he snapped. When his eyes met Cas’ across the racks Cas could see the frustration and desperate need to escape the girl’s clutches. He didn’t know what he could do though. Thankfully Lisa seemed to get the hint. She stopped trying to hang all over Dean and took a step back to cross her arms and glare at him.

“You’re going to regret rejecting me Dean. I’ll make sure no girl at Roosevelt ever goes out with you again!” She was damn close to yelling and Cas cringed. So far she had not yet noticed him staring. Most people never did. Dean’s attention, though, was back on Lisa.

“Fine! Maybe I don’t want a girl anyway! Not if they’re all snotty bitches like you!” 

Her jaw fell open as he slung his insult at her. Before she could respond he was stomping away, pausing only long enough to look at Cas.

“You coming?”

Cas quickly nodded, eyes darting to Lisa who only just now seemed to realize he was there, and then hurried after Dean.

“I’m sorry man, she spotted me from out in the hall and came in to harass me.” Dean was apologetic, though Cas saw no reason for him to be.

“It’s alright, you have nothing to apologize for. Clearly she is the one that doesn’t understand what breaking up actually means,” Cas responded, another smirk on his lips. His joke made Dean relax a bit and he smiled.

“No, she really doesn’t. This time I have absolutely no interest in getting back together with her. The chick is psycho!” Dean ran a hand through his hair, clearly still frustrated. Cas decided to distract him. He held up a shirt that was too big for himself but would fit Dean perfectly.

“Look what I found.”

Dean looked up, the anger in his expression easing and falling away to form a happy smile.

“Dude! Pink Floyd!”

“It won’t fit me, but it should fit you,” Cas said.

“Yeah, but I didn’t bring any money, not that I had any to start with. My job down at the garage is on hiatus until I graduate, Bobby’s orders.” Dean almost sounded pouty. He was looking longingly at the shirt and Cas couldn’t bear to see him like that.

“I’ll buy it for you. And you don’t have to pay me back. Doing this…bringing me here, that’s enough payback. I appreciate this,” Cas said honestly.

Dean rubbed nervously at the back of his neck again. “O-ok.” He accepted the shirt when Cas handed it over, that dopey grin returning. Cas realized he liked seeing Dean happy and smiling. He’d liked it when they were kids and he liked it now.

“I still need pants,” Cas pointed out, and Dean led him towards an area of the store where the jeans would be. Cas was glad to find that despite being a resale shop, everything was properly organized. He went straight to a rack labeled 32 in. and began searching. The few pairs that caught his eye Dean took away with a shake of his head and put them back on the rack.

“Dude, no. You have a fantastic body, you need to show it off. Skinny jeans, that’s what you need.”

Dean found two pair, one black and one stone washed. He handed them both to Cas and pushed him in the direction of the fitting room. As Cas began taking his pants off he found himself wondering what Dean had meant. Why would he say he had a fantastic body? And what about that comment earlier? Maybe he didn’t want a girl? He was still trying to make sense of all that as he slid the first pair of skinny jeans on. He had been wary, thinking his crotch would be uncomfortably squeezed in such a tight item of clothing, but other than his boxers bunching a bit and needing to be smoothed out, they were surprisingly comfortable. He zipped them up and turned to look at himself in the full length mirror. Dean was right. He looked damn good. He pulled on the Zeppelin shirt before stepping out of the dressing room. 

“Well?” He held out his arms and waited for Dean to laugh at how stupid he looked, except that didn’t happen.

“Holy shit Cas….you’re fucking hot!” Dean blurted, startling them both as well as a nearby female shopper.

“Um, ok? So…I should get this pair?”

“Hell yes! Try on that other pair too. Different manufacturers actually have different standards and they might be tighter or looser,” Dean explained. Cas nodded in understanding and darted back into the dressing room.

What the hell was that?!

Cas quickly removed the jeans and tried on the second pair. These fit slightly more snug in the groin, but he realized that worked to his favor as it showed how well-endowed he already was for being only seventeen. If that didn’t get Balthazar’s attention, nothing would. He swapped out the Zeppelin shirt for a Motorhead one and stepped out of the dressing room for a second time. 

“Jesus Cas. I swear those damn pants were designed with you in mind. Are they comfortable?” Dean was trying very hard not to stare at Cas’ crotch, and he wasn’t sure just how that information made him feel. Cas nodded, shifting his weight uncomfortably under Dean’s intense gaze. His mind was reeling the entire time from Dean’s words. Was he complimenting him? Did Dean…find him attractive? He shook that thought out of his head quickly. There was no way Dean liked guys. He was sure that was a secret he would have uncovered at some point. 

“Uh, just pull the tag off, wear them out of here,” Dean told him.

“I can do that?” Cas asked.

“Sure. Just hand them the tags at the register so they can ring everything up.”

Cas returned to the dressing room to put his shoes back on (they ruined the entire look), and gather up the clothes he intended to buy as well as the ones he came in wearing. He followed Dean to the register where he handed everything over to the pretty cashier. She rung him up and bid them a good night as they left the store.

“You need better shoes,” Dean said, frowning at the Oxfords Cas was wearing.

“I have thirty dollars left. What can I do with that?” Cas asked.

Dean looked around for a moment before spotting a shoe store. “Come on, I know that place isn’t too expensive.”

They found a knockoff pair of Converse that looked good with both pairs of pants. It was a start to Cas’ new look and Dean was proud of himself for being able to set Cas up with the start of a cool new wardrobe. He actually liked the way Cas normally dressed, but this was sooooo much better. He was practically beaming as they stepped out of the shoe store. Just as he was about to inquire again as to who this guy was that Cas was interested in, he heard his name being called.

“Hey Winchester!” 

He lifted his head and scanned the hall. Some of the guys from the team were heading in their direction.

“Hey!” Dean waved back. He didn’t hear the small gasp of surprise Cas gave from next to him.

“What are you doing here man?” Dean asked as Victor, Balthazar, Gordon, and Benny walked up.

“Shopping man, what else do you do at a mall?” Dean grinned.

“Or pick up chicks.” Victor nudged Dean and laughed. Dean shook his head.

“Nah man, just shopping.”

Victor’s attention was drawn to Cas who was standing nervously next to Dean.

“Who’s this, man?”

Dean looked over at Cas. “This is my buddy Cas.”

“Sup Cas, I’m Victor,” Victor smiled and nodded at him.

“Hello Victor. I-I know who you all are actually,” Cas said quietly, his eyes flickering briefly to Balthazar before returning to Victor.

“You go to our school? I don’t know that I’ve seen you before,” Victor looked to Dean for an explanation.

“Cas has gone to school with us for years. He’s just…quiet. And really smart, so he’s definitely not running in your circles.” Dean punched Victor lightly in the arm, making him laugh.

“Screw you Dean.” Victor turned back to Cas.

“Well it’s nice to meet you man, maybe I’ll see you at school.”

Cas smiled and nodded. “Yeah, same here.”

When next he looked up he noticed Balthazar was staring at him. He could feel the tips of his ears turning red. 

“You going to the food court?” Benny asked them. Dean looked at Cas who shrugged.

“I guess we could,” Dean said.

“I’ll buy your broke ass some fries,” Benny said as he draped an arm over Dean’s shoulders and they started walking. Cas ended up walking behind them.

“I think I saw you in my English class, am I right?” Balthazar was suddenly falling in step next to him, and he thought his heart might burst out of his chest from the sudden shock of it. He forced himself to remain cool though.

“Uh, yeah, we have English together.”

Balthazar was looking at him again, only this time Cas got the feeling that the other boy was really seeing him, and that he liked what he saw.

“This style suits you much better,” Balthazar said.

Cas couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. “Thanks.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They reached the food court a few minutes later and found a big table. As promised Benny bought a couple of large orders of fries and as they sat down, Cas found himself with Dean to his right and Balthazar to his left. 

“Here.” Dean pushed the fries in front of him towards Cas who took one and popped it in his mouth.

“So how do you know Dean?” Balthazar was suddenly leaning right into Cas’ personal space. He had one arm on the back of Cas’ chair and one on the table, basically pinning Cas in.

“Oh, we grew up together. He’s my next door neighbor.” Cas forced himself to keep his voice even. There was no way he wanted this gorgeous boy to know how nervous he was. Balthazar was smiling, a mischievous gleam to his eye. Wow his eyes were really blue!

“Huh. Suppose I shall have to come visit Dean more often.”

The wide-eyed surprise on Cas’ face made the other boy burst out laughing.

“Are you messing with Cas?” Dean turned away from the conversation he’d been having with Benny to look at them.

“No, he’s not, it’s cool,” Cas assured him. Now it was Balthazar’s turn to be surprised. The smile that spread across his face set Cas’ nerves on fire. It was like fireworks were exploding in his belly. Dean eyed Balthazar for a moment as he couldn’t see the goofy grin on Cas’ face.

“Come on Cas, we gotta get back, we’ve got homework to do.” Dean got to his feet. Cas looked at him and frowned. He wanted to argue that they should stay but he knew better. Dean was right.

“Fine.” He sighed as he got to his feet. Balthazar’s eyes followed him as he stood up, a wicked smile on his face.

“See you tomorrow, Cas,” he said. Cas smiled back.

“Definitely.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell was that?” Dean asked as they made their way out to the parking lot.

“What was what?” Cas asked innocently.

“With you and Balthazar? Were you…flirting with him?” 

Cas lowered his head hoping Dean wouldn’t see his grin but he did.

“Dude, you like _Balthazar_?” Dean sounded both shocked and surprised at that discovery.

“So what if I do?” Cas couldn’t help but feel defensive.

“No, dude, I’m not…” Dean ran a hand down his face as he tried to figure out how to get his point across without sounding like an asshole.

“I am not homophobic, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he finally managed to say.

Cas visibly relaxed at that. “That’s good to know.”

“But…I need to tell you, Balthazar, he’s a player. He’s flashy and he uses that English charm to seduce guys and girls. He has no preference. I…” Dean frowned and shook his head. They had just reached the car and he stood with his hands on the roof and stared out across the parking lot.

“You what?” Cas didn’t want to push but he wanted to know where that sentence was going. Dean looked at him, and Cas was surprised to see that those normally jovial green eyes were dark and guarded.

“Nah, it’s not important. Just - be careful, ok? And know that if Balthazar is interested in you, it’s not to date you. He only sleeps with people and then moves on.”

“I didn’t realize you cared,” Cas said dryly. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because the raw vulnerability Dean had just been displaying was immediately shut down. He clenched his jaw and opened his car door.

“Well if you don’t, then I don’t, just don’t come crying to me when he breaks your heart.”

The ride home was tense and uncomfortable for them both and when they pulled into Dean’s driveway neither boy got out right away. Cas felt the need to make this right. He didn’t want to push Dean away, and he didn’t want to see him so upset.

“Dean, I’m sorry. I’m still trying to figure myself out, and…I haven’t really told anyone, except Anna and Gabe today at lunch. They are kind of insisting I find a date and go to homecoming.” Cas hung his head and fiddled with the hem of his new tee shirt. It was easier than looking up at Dean.

“And for your first crush you chose Balthazar? You really go all out man,” Dean said, shaking his head. 

“He’s not my first crush,” Cas sighed.

“Maybe you should have acted on your first crush then. I’m telling you, Balthazar is the love ’em and leave ’em type. Aside from that accent I don’t know what people see in him.”

“I just don’t understand why you care so much. We haven’t even really talked since seventh grade. Right about the time you hit puberty and passed me way the hell up.” Cas lifted his head to look at Dean, who had turned in his seat to face him.

“What? I thought you didn’t want to be my friend anymore! What, did you think I became better looking or something? Do you not look in the mirror at all Cas?”

“I don’t understand. Your comments confuse me. Of course I look in the mirror. If I was even half as good looking as you I’d have guys and girls beating down my door, but I don’t. All I have going for me are my brains Dean, that’s it!”

“Who was your first crush, Cas?” Dean suddenly asked.

“What? Why does that matter?”

“Because I want to know,” Dean countered.

“No, I’m not telling you.” Cas crossed his arms and turned away but he didn’t get out of the car. A part of him was curious as to WHY Dean wanted to know, and he was afraid of the answer.

“Fine, don’t.” Dean could be the most stubborn person in the world when he wanted to be.

“It was Anna. We were in third grade and I thought her red hair was pretty. And yes, she knows already,” he reluctantly admitted.

“Anna? Really?” Dean sounded surprised, and when Cas turned to look at him he saw it in his eyes as well.

“I’m not gay, Dean, my attraction to a person does not have to do with their sexual orientation.” 

“So, you’re pan?”

Cas was impressed. He didn’t think Dean would be up to date on LGBQT terminology.

“That’s right.”

Dean nodded. “Are you part of the GSA?” 

“No. I mean, I want to, but my mom doesn’t know,” Cas said. He glanced over at his house, as though just talking about his preferences would alert her.

“I get that. My old man is a complete homophobic prick. When he left, it was a relief.” Dean was picking at something under his fingernail. It was obvious he was trying not to look Cas in the eye.

“Dean, what are you trying to say? I feel like you’ve been hinting at something all day, but I’m sorry to say, I’m no better now with hints than I was in middle school. You need to just say what’s on your mind.” Cas took a chance and reached over to touch the other boy’s arm. He expected Dean to flinch and pull away but instead he seemed to relax.

“I had my first crush in kindergarten,” Dean said. It caught Cas off guard but he figured Dean was going somewhere with this. He let go of Dean’s arm and folded his hands neatly in his lap, waiting patiently for him to elaborate. Dean glanced over and saw those blue eyes watching him intently.

“I didn’t understand it, I was practically still in diapers, you know? I told my mom and she told me it was normal and ok. Then my dad found out.” Dean took a deep breath and stared straight ahead at the steering wheel. Cas knew where this was going but he didn’t want to interrupt and cause Dean to clam up again.

“My dad, he… punished me,” Dean said it so quietly that Cas almost missed it. Instinctively he reached out and touched the other boy again, this time with a reassuring squeeze to the shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

Dean let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, I had it beaten into me that the only way to be was straight. So….I just pretended I was.” He looked over at Cas finally.

“I got really good at pretending.”

“So…you’re what, bi?” Cas asked. Dean shook his head.

“No dude, I’m gay.”

That was not what Cas expected to hear. How could he not have known Dean was gay? He knew practically everything else about him.

“Are you not out?” He asked.

Dean shrugged. “I’m not exactly in the closet, but I’m not running around advertising it either. The reason I told you to be careful with Balthazar is ’cause last year, he uh…”

Again Dean scratched nervously at the back of his neck.

“I’m guessing he didn’t want to take you to dinner and a movie,” Cas said.

“No, he wanted blowjobs in the locker room showers.” Dean dropped his gaze to his hands which were twisting over one another in his lap. It was bothering Cas to see him so anxious so he laid a hand over both of Dean’s. Immediately the other boy stilled.

“I get it then.” And Cas did get it. As he thought about it he had never seen Balthazar actually “date” anyone. It had been a long series of flings. Apparently he wasn’t the only one that found English accents sexy. That definitely wasn’t something he was interested in. Cas wanted an actual relationship. He’d never had one before but he thought he could be in one, have a chance to make someone else happy, and let them make him happy too.

He sat back, pulling his hand away from Dean’s and for a moment he thought Dean was going to reach out and try to recapture it. Instead he went back to wringing his hands again.

“Why are you so nervous right now?” Cas asked.

“I - can I just get the assignment from you? I don’t want your grade to drop because I didn’t do my part.” Dean was still clearly upset and Cas didn’t know how to help.

“No,” Cas said firmly.

“No?” Dean asked, stunned.

“Not until you tell me what the hell has you all worked up. Then we can go up to my room and work on homework.” Cas stared straight into Dean’s eyes and waited. He watched the other boy’s jaw clench and unclench in frustration before he finally gave in.

“Fuck it.” Dean’s entire body went limp as he sighed. “My dad, he comes back sometimes. My folks are divorced and I don’t really want to see him, but sometimes he still shows up and wants to do stuff, like fishing or seeing a baseball game. I like that stuff, but he’s always going on about girls. Points them out, even brings them over to talk to me. He refuses to accept that I’m gay, thinks he can change me. I just…” He sighed deeply for a second time.

“I just want to be me.”

“Then be you Dean. You’re almost an adult, you can’t keep living in your father’s shadow, trying to be something you’re not. It’s not fair to you. And he can’t knock you around anymore. You’re as big as he is. You need to stand up for yourself. If he can’t accept you as you are, then maybe you’re better off without him in your life.”

“He’s my dad, Cas!” There was anger in Dean’s voice, but there was pain as well. His words lacked conviction though. Cas took a moment to study him. He had always thought Dean was handsome. One of the reasons he had stopped talking to him back in middle school was because he had formed a crush on him. It was easier to push him away than it was to admit to him that he liked him and risk rejection. 

“Dean, is there someone you like but think you can’t be with? Is that the problem?” Cas asked.

“That’s been the problem for years. I’ve liked the same guy since I was ten. Ten! But I was terrified of what my dad would do or say, so I just said nothing. I kept it to myself. I went out for football because that’s what my dad wanted me to do. I dated cheerleaders because that’s what my dad wanted me to do. I tried to be a good son, but he still left. Even if I’d been straight he would have left.” 

There were tears streaming down Dean’s face now and it truly pained Cas to see him like that. He tugged at Dean, willing the boy to move closer, which he did, and then wrapped him in his arms. 

“It’s ok, Dean. You have a loving and supportive family already, people that truly care. Your mom is amazing, and so is Sam. If they accept you, then that is all that matters.”

“They know, and they do accept me as I am. I just…” Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and buried his face in his chest.

“Want to make your father happy. But Dean, some people will never be happy, no matter what. My father is like that, and so is yours. You need to do what makes you happy. Forget what other people think.”

When Dean finally had his tears under control he sat back and wiped at his eyes with the hem of his shirt. Cas caught more than an eyeful of the smooth, freckled skin beneath and it stirred something in him that he hadn’t thought about in years. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Thankfully when Dean dropped the edge of his shirt he turned to look out the window instead of at Cas.

“What makes you happy Cas? And please don’t tell me Balthazar,” Dean grimaced. Cas just chuckled and shook his head.

“No. Cheeseburgers make me happy. And Doctor Who. Oh, and Star Wars.”

Dean turned to look at him and his smile was one of the most stunning things Cas had ever seen. What the hell? He didn’t like Dean like that!

“We totally need to watch Star Wars. How about this weekend?”

Cas smiled, suddenly feeling shy again. “O-ok, that would be cool.”

The car fell into silence for a moment. “Let’s go to your room?” Dean started opening his door and Cas did the same. Together they walked to Cas’ house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once up in Cas’ room Dean actually went to sit at the desk. He found Cas’ notebook and tore out a sheet of paper. Cas went to the same notebook and flipped to the right page. He pointed to the problems they were supposed to be working on and Dean set to copying them down. As Cas watched Dean also worked each problem out. When he was finished he handed the paper over to Cas to look over.

“When you put your mind to it you’re really good at this.” Cas said, handing the paper back.

“I can do the school work, I just am more…hands on. I prefer to work with my hands rather than have my nose stuck in a book,” Dean explained.

“That works for me because I like the research aspect of things more than actually doing the experiments. The experiments sometimes make me nervous.” Cas sat down on the edge of his bed and tugged absently at the hem of his shirt.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” Cas asked.

Dean was tucking the paper in his back pocket but he paused to look at him.

“Care to elaborate?”

Cas couldn’t help the blush that came over his cheeks and he lowered his eyes to the floor. 

“When you said…in the store…that I’m….” He stumbled over his words and the blush was absolutely burning his cheeks now. 

“Oh, when I said you were hot? Hell yes!” Dean grinned. He leaned back in the chair, clearly not ready to leave yet.

“Oh, ok.” Cas bit down on his lower lip as he tried not to smile.

“Dude, do you really think you’re not attractive?” Dean asked. There was no mocking in his tone. He really wanted to know what Cas thought of himself.

“I guess I’m just, average?” Cas shrugged. How was he supposed to gauge his own looks?

Dean got up and moved over to the bed. When he sat down it was close enough that their shoulders were touching.

“You spend so much time hiding from everyone, and I don’t know why. It hurt me when you stopped hanging out, do you know that? You were my best friend, Cas. It just suddenly felt like you didn’t want me around anymore and I couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong.” Dean was looking at him and from this distance Cas could count the freckles on his face if he’d wanted to. And oh, he wanted to…

“You didn’t do anything wrong Dean. You were a great friend. Apparently you still are.” Cas forced himself to look Dean in the eye and stop staring at his freckles, at his perfect jawline. At his lips.

“Well, blowing me off like you did told me otherwise. I didn’t let the other kids bully you, not that they would have, but I still wouldn’t let them.”

Cas sighed and continued to tug at the hem of his shirt.

“You still do that when you’re thinking or when you’re upset. So which is? Better get it out because if you don’t, you’re going to put a hole in your new shirt.” Dean nodded at where Cas was still tugging on the shirt. He dropped his hands to his lap, laying them flat on his thighs.

“I was thinking. Maybe I shouldn’t have been a dick and pushed you away,” He admitted, biting down on his lower lip. It felt like he was saying too much. And had Dean moved even closer? They were now hip to hip and Dean leaned back, locking his elbows and leaning on his hands, one of which was now directly behind Cas.

“And what makes you think that?” Dean asked. Cas was no love expert, not by any means, and he had only been on a handful of dates, none of which he ever told Anna or Gabe about, but he was getting the distinct impression that Dean was…flirting with him. What he wasn’t sure of was if he was doing it consciously or this was just how he was.

“Uh, oh, well…you’re a nice guy.” _Smooth one you idiot_ , Cas thought.

Dean cocked an eyebrow. “I’m nice? Was I ever not nice?”

Cas rolled his eyes and his intention was to drop back on his bed to exaggerate his frustration with his own inability to speak clearly, but instead he hit the arm Dean was holding himself up with that was behind him and took Dean out with him. The end result was Dean laying half on top of him. Neither boy moved right away, and Cas wasn’t sure what to make of that either.

“So, did I ever tell you who that boy was that I had the crush on?” Dean asked as he put the arm that wasn’t trapped under Cas on the other side of him. Cas just shook his head.

“It was you, dummy.” 

Cas’ eyes widened. Dean had liked him too?

“What?”

Dean still liked him?

“I know you don’t like me Cas, and that’s ok...”

Dean’s words were cut off as Cas grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down into a kiss. He let out a squeak he would later deny vehemently as his brain caught up with what was happening. His eyes fluttered closed and he pulled Cas closer, running one hand up Cas’ side. When Cas gasped he took the opportunity to lick his way into the other boy’s mouth which just made Cas pull him in closer as he moaned.

“Dean, I...” Cas wanted to tell him why he had pushed him away but Dean pressed a finger to his lips.

“I know. You thought I was straight and couldn’t possibly like you back. But it was the summer we turned ten that I realized I actually had feelings for you. We’d been swimming all summer long and one afternoon after we’d come back we went to my house to play with GI Joes, and you just looked at me, a big smile on your face. I just knew in that moment. You and your checkered shirts and sweater vests, I’ve always liked you Cas. Hell, when I was a little kid I used to dream about growing up and marrying you. Stupid, I know, but I thought I was in love. I never stopped caring. When you suddenly stopped coming over or even talking to me, I thought I'd done something wrong or made you angry somehow. I spent years trying to figure out what it was I'd done. I’m glad I know why you pushed me away. I just…I hope you won’t still keep pushing.” 

The sincerity in Dean’s eyes and in his voice broke something in Cas, something that told him he couldn’t have Dean for his own. Dean wanted him as much as he had once wanted Dean, as much as he realized he still wanted him. He’d spent so many years training his brain that he couldn’t have what he wanted. If he’d kept Dean close he would have had it so much sooner.

“I’m sorry, Dean, and I’m never going to do that to you again,” he promised.

“You’re not just saying that? I don’t want to like be your second choice.” Dean was watching him carefully, looking for any sign that Cas might be lying. He reached up with both hands to cup Dean’s face.

“Dean, you were my first choice; I just never thought I could have you, so I kind of forced myself to stop thinking about you. I don’t think that’s going to be a problem anymore though. I won’t be able to get you out of my damn head.”

The smile that flashed across Dean’s face in that moment caused butterflies to explode in Cas’ belly, and he couldn’t help but smile back.

“Can I take you out Cas? Somewhere other than shopping. Like dinner?”

“Yeah, I’d like that, but how are you going to do that without money?” Cas teased.

This time it was Dean that rolled his eyes. “I can come up with money to take you to dinner, and maybe even a movie.”

“I’d like that.” 

He still had his hands on either side of Dean’s face and he pulled him in, kissing him slowly. A knock at his bedroom door startled them both and Dean practically jumped back. Cas got up and went to the door.

“Hey, Mom,” he said as he opened the door. She looked at his clothes and mussed up hair before looking at his face. She raised an eyebrow at the sight of his red lips and flushed cheeks and a look of understanding came over her face.

“Dinner’s ready. Is…Dean staying?” She looked past her son to where Dean was sitting on the bed trying not to look half as nervous as felt. Cas turned to look at Dean.

“You want to stay for dinner?”

“Sure, I’ll just let my mom know.” Dean pulled out his cell phone to call her while Cas turned his attention back to his mom.

“Can I talk to you for a minute? In private.” She spoke softly so Dean wouldn’t hear. Cas could feel his heart jackhammering in his chest. He was fairly certain his mother had just figured out what they had been up to, and he was embarrassed beyond belief. He motioned to Dean that he’d be back in a minute and then followed his mother to her room. Once inside she closed the door.

“What is this exactly?” She motioned towards his clothes. He shifted his weight nervously and tugged at his shirt.

“It’s what all the kids today are wearing,” he replied lamely.

“You’re not all the kids honey, you’ve always marched to the beat of your own drum.” 

“I know, but…” He could feel his embarrassment growing.

“Were you trying to impress someone? Maybe make them like you?” she asked. When he dared to meet her eyes he could see they were filled with nothing but love and understanding.

“Yeah, I was.”

“Was it Dean?”

He shook his head. “Uh, no.”

“Then how did that happen?” she asked.

“Do you really want to know?” he countered.

She went to sit at the foot of her bed and patted the space next to her. He sat down.

“Yes, I really do. I love you sweetheart, and if you like boys, that’s ok. I just want you to be happy.” She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, a comforting motion she had done for as long as he could remember.

“Well, there was this boy at school, Balthazar, and I was trying to get his attention but I was too much of a nerd. Anna suggested I should do a sort of makeover, and I didn’t want her to be in charge because I know how she is with picking out clothes, so I went to Dean for help, and we got to talking, and he’s gay, Mom, and he’s liked me since he was ten, and I liked him since we were twelve, and I didn’t think he liked me back, so I stopped talking to him, but he still likes me, and I still like him, like way more than Balthazar, so I kissed him. And yeah. That’s about it.” He spoke so quickly she was struggling to catch every word.

“You said Dean is gay, but you didn’t say you are. Are you bi?” she asked. He shook his head.

“No, I’m pansexual. I don’t like a person based on their orientation. I just like them for who they are. And Dean is wonderful mom, he’s so smart and funny, and gorgeous.” He blushed and his mom laughed softly.

“Yes honey, he’s a wonderful young man, and if he makes you happy then I’m happy for you. And by the way, I’ve known for years that he was gay. You forget his mom and I are friends. I’m just surprised you didn’t know that.”

“Really? You knew? Why didn’t you tell me?” He was hurt that she’d kept a secret that big from him.

“I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t my news to tell. I knew that if Dean wanted you to know, he’d tell you, but then he stopped coming by so I thought maybe he had and you rejected him. But Mary never said anything to indicate that. And I had no idea why you’d shut him out. I think I understand now though.” She brushed a lock of hair off his forehead and kissed his cheek.

“I’m not sure I understand what being pansexual is, but maybe later, when you have the time you can explain it better.” She got to her feet and started for the door. 

“And for the record, I’ve known for years that you liked boys and girls. I knew you snuck out on that date in eighth grade with that boy Michael.” 

With that she walked out of the room, leaving a stunned Cas still sitting on the bed staring after her.

When Cas finally got his wits about him he returned to his room to find Dean pacing, still quite nervous. He stopped when Cas walked in.

“Does she…is everything ok?” he asked.

“Everything is fine, and yes, she figured it out. I came out to her and she’s cool with it. Did your mom say you could stay?”

“Yeah, she did. I kind of told my mom about you too.” Dean rubbed nervously at the back of his neck but Cas stepped right into his personal space and wrapped his arms around him.

“And what did she say?” 

Dean relaxed and pulled Cas closer. “She said if you made me happy, then she’s happy.”

“Do I? Do I make you happy?” Cas asked.

Dean smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Cas’ lips. “You do, but then again, you always did.” 

That made Cas smile too. “Let’s go eat then.”

“Sounds good. And my mom says you’re invited for dinner tomorrow night.”

Cas reached out and took Dean’s hand, smiling up at him. Dean smiled right back. This was what he’d wanted since he was ten years old and now he had it. He was definitely not going to do anything to screw it up. As they made their way down to the kitchen and the smell of roasted chicken and potatoes reached their noses Dean had a single thought: Good things did sometimes happen to the Winchesters.

**Author's Note:**

> I do hope you enjoyed this one. Leave a commnent and a kudos, and thank you for reading!


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